Responding To Your Baby's Cries
Crying
serves several useful purposes for your baby. It gives her a way to call for
help when she’s hungry or uncomfortable. It helps her shut out sights, sounds,
and other sensations that are too intense to suit her. And it helps her release
tension.
You
may notice that your baby has fussy periods throughout the day, even though
she’s not hungry, uncomfortable, or tired. Nothing you do at these times will
console her, but right after these spells, she may seem more alert than before,
and shortly thereafter she may sleep more deeply than usual. This kind of fussy
crying seems to help babies get rid of excess energy so they can return to a
more contented state.
Pay
close attention to your baby’s different cries. You’ll soon be able to tell
when she needs to be picked up, consoled, or tended to, and when she is better
off left alone. You may even be able to identify her specific needs by the way
she cries. For instance, a hungry cry is usually short and low-pitched, and it
rises and falls. An angry cry tends to be more turbulent. A cry of pain or distress
generally comes on suddenly and loudly with a long, high-pitched shriek
followed by a long pause and then a flat wail. The “leave-me-alone” cry is
usually similar to a hunger cry. It won’t take long before you have a pretty
good idea of what your baby’s cries are trying to tell you.
Sometimes
different types of cries overlap. For example, newborns generally wake up
hungry and crying for food. If you’re not quick to respond, your baby’s hunger
cry may give way to a wail of rage. You’ll hear the difference. As your baby
matures, her cries will become stronger, louder, and more insistent. They’ll
also begin to vary more as if to convey different needs and desires. The best
way to handle crying is to respond promptly to your infant whenever she cries
during her first few months. You cannot spoil a young baby by giving her
attention, and if you answer her calls for help, she’ll cry less overall.
When
responding to your child’s cries, try to meet her most pressing need first. If
she’s cold and hungry and her diaper is wet, warm her up, change her diaper,
and then feed her. If there’s a shrieking or panicked quality to the cry,
consider the possibility that a piece of clothing or something else is making
her uncomfortable. Perhaps a strand of hair is caught around a finger or toe.
If she’s warm, dry, and well-fed but nothing is working to stop the crying, try
the following consoling techniques to find the ones that work best for your
baby:
- Rocking, either in a rocking chair or in your
arms as you sway from side to side
- Gently stroking her head or patting her back or
chest
- Swaddling (wrapping her snugly in a receiving
blanket)
- Singing or talking
- Playing soft music
- Walking her in your arms, a stroller, or a
carriage
- Riding in the car (Be sure to properly secure her
in her car safety seat.)
- Rhythmic noise and vibration
- Burping her to relieve any trapped gas bubbles
- Warm baths (Most babies like this,
but not all.)
Sometimes,
if all else fails, the best approach is simply to leave the baby alone. Many
babies cannot fall asleep without crying and will go to sleep more quickly if
left to cry for a while. The crying shouldn’t last long if the child is truly
tired. If your baby is inconsolable no matter what you do, she may be sick. Check
her temperature. If you take it rectally and it is over 100.4 degrees
Fahrenheit (38 degrees Celsius), she could have an infection. Contact your pediatrician.
The
more relaxed you remain, the easier it will be to console your child. Even very
young babies are sensitive to tension around them and react to it by crying.
Listening to a wailing newborn can be agonizing, but letting your frustration
turn to anger or panic will only intensify your infant’s screams. If you start
to feel that you can’t handle the situation, get help from another family
member or a friend. Not only will this give you needed relief, but a new face
sometimes can calm your baby when all your own tricks are spent. No matter how
impatient or angry you feel, do not shake the baby. Shaking an
infant hard can cause blindness, brain damage, or even death. Also, make sure
to share this information on crying with other caretakers of your baby,
including your spouse or partner.
Above
all, don’t take your newborn’s crying personally. She’s not crying because
you’re a bad parent or because she doesn’t like you. All babies cry, often
without any apparent cause. Newborns routinely cry a total of one to four hours
a day. It’s part of adjusting to this strange new life outside the womb.
No, the mother can console her child every time she cries, so don’t
expect to be a miracle worker with your baby. Instead, take a realistic
approach to the situation, line up some help, get plenty of rest, and enjoy all
those wondrous moments with your child.
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